We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
