he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
