Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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