if i can run in heels then i can drive
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
