You made me cry and you don't even care
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
