Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
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Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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