ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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