If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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