rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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