Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
