Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
