But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
