dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
