tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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