all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
