You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
