also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
