There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Randomize
