I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
