Tell her she can't have a vagina
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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