I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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