theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize