You can't motorboat a personality
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
