I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
