About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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