I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
