I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i think i just lost a toe
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
