after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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