What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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