Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
