I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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