I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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