Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
