I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
