She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize