I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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