Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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