did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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