so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
