how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize