AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now