You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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