Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.

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  (937): Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes. http://tfl.nu/4vss
  Replies (16) Good night (752) Bad night (2274)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect

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  (317): I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect http://tfl.nu/eleg
  Replies (13) Good night (1205) Bad night (2444)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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  (631): I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified. (1-631): I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes. http://tfl.nu/l5ui
  Replies (50) Good night (7437) Bad night (2076)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".

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  (917): My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva". http://tfl.nu/2q86
  Replies (25) Good night (4920) Bad night (1959)
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  (805): View more from California

  my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.

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  (805): my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad. http://tfl.nu/fiwi
  Replies (43) Good night (1586) Bad night (14556)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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  (314): I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day http://tfl.nu/ayjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3112) Bad night (1348)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!

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  (307): When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"! http://tfl.nu/t4t6
  Replies (15) Good night (3968) Bad night (1030)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

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  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5929) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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  (+44): Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing. http://tfl.nu/5vch
  Replies (3) Good night (1967) Bad night (738)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.

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  (570): God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today. http://tfl.nu/74x0
  Replies (5) Good night (1209) Bad night (678)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (728) Bad night (1537)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk

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  (780): Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk http://tfl.nu/rb5a
  Replies (4) Good night (2090) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible

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  (801): Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible http://tfl.nu/ks54
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.

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  (469): The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us. http://tfl.nu/te9o
  Replies (4) Good night (860) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.

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  (443): This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid. http://tfl.nu/18yq
  Replies (1) Good night (633) Bad night (212)

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