Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?