She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Everything about him screamed your future.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.