Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You're like the curious george of whores
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
