i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
