Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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