My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
