she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
