he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
as a side note pls kill me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
