aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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