She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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