I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
