if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
