I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize