i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have feelings that need drinking.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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