btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
