He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
