i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
its liver damage thursday
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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