Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
